Author Topic: Esuna [PRP Oriana // Ring IV]  (Read 265 times)

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Offline Lucas~

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Esuna [PRP Oriana // Ring IV]
« on: June 11, 2017, 10:04:50 AM »



There was a weight compressing on his chest, a rule of iron authority that slowly but surely began to suffocate him. It was harder to breathe with each passing day, harder to take it all in, but even harder to let it all go. The Crane was plagued relentlessly by his own emotions, stabbing and slicing into his very core. Guilt... that was always the main one, the frontal assault. Guilt that he had lied. Not just to his Queen, but to his mate. How could he have? Well, he knew. But could he genuinely justify it to others? He knew deep in his heart that he would always have done the right thing, he would always preserve life. It was his duty, his core mechanic as Crane to look on all life as equals. More so the lives of children, those that was immediately under his care, just as the rest of the pack was. The other Elites managed their ranks at large, but did they truly have the well-being of everyone to manage?

The balance of work and family was always something he'd managed fairly accurately. Though it was suffering with his own depression, with his own anxieties and demons. His own guilt. He'd been unhappy for a while, unhappy with his life, with their current situation. With his marriage. Lucas cursed the day she had become Queen, cursed Sol Katti with every word he knew. The biggest fault was that he hadn't expected anything to change. How foolish and naïve he was, even now as a grown man.

He had broken her trust, of course there would be repercussions. Their bond has splintered and fractured little by little to giant, gaping shards. Lucas had felt miserable ever since their argument, his heart aching at the thought of it. He would always defend their family, even before the laws, before his own life. These were his babies, his dead grandchildren that he fought so fiercely for. Even if Lucas had known the heartbreaking outcome from the start, it would change nothing. He would still defend his son from the ire of the King and Queen and their Vulture. He would never understand the crown, he was never born to hold and understand its power. The words of the King were law, but that did not mean they were right.

The Fledgelings were another... complicated matter. Abandoned, no parents. No lineage. How could he tolerate putting the lives of strangers over his own children? If Saboro required titled fledgelings, then why not pick out of their existing litters? Legitimate sons of the King and Queen? How hypocritical that the voices that condemned the illegal children of Spider and Rorschach also hushed and fawned over illegal spawn of unknown origin. 'A new generation comes, stronger than before.'. The crowd had felt... displeased. Were they stronger? What value would they bring that his own children could not? His generation had worked for their titles, their status'. Rifle had been given his red tattoos when he was young, before he had truly achieved anything. The young Saborine had fallen, fled into the dark depths of the jungle when faced with a real challenge. Would these new children be the same? Fed with a silver spoon?

The argument had torn their marriage, perhaps to the point of being irredeemable. He couldn't speak for his own brood, it wasn't his place to involve them in the politics of their marriage. But it was also something that... bothered him. A great deal more than he verbally spoke of. Which was why he quietly padded up the steps of the temple. He hadn't come here since their last argument, sparing the Queen from his presence. Lucas had taken to Estein's grave to sleep, a restless sleep but he managed. Sleeping on the outside felt cold, more vulnerable than tucked into a safe, warm den. Alas, his old one had been destroyed in the flooding and the new one shifted into the temple to accommodate his Queen.

Bat ears pulled forward as he paused at the top, memories of their argument taking place here; though he hoped this time would be more... civil. ”My Queen.” He'd call, stance shifting to bowing his head low once she appeared. A soft exhale and he would rise, paws assisting in grounding him as they felt the hard stone beneath him. His voice was soft, a quiet drawl of a man at the end of his tether.

”I've been unhappy f'a while. We both have. I reckon we gotta talk. 'Bout us. 'Bout our marriage, an... an what's best f'our family. What's best f'us.”



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Offline Oriana.


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Re: Esuna [PRP Oriana // Ring IV]
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2017, 01:43:17 PM »
Like there’s no tomorrow
Like there’s no next time
Everything that you’ve done in front of my eyes
It’s a complete darkness

__________________________________________
ORIANA ✶  ,,
The hollow, emptiness of the Temple had become an aching customary; it had been weeks since she’d properly seen Lucas aside from passing moments and elite meetings and more importantly, family matters. She could recall his face like a familiar picture that day, how he spoke of their family and their bond, how no matter what they’d be there for each other. Oriana remembered two of her sons, at each other’s throats in words rather than teeth that day, then more recently, the opposite as teeth were bared and acid was spit more harshly then she’d ever imagine between her boys. Their daughters have been missing, hiding, avoiding; perhaps anything to dance around or away from the obvious elephant in the room of their parent’s marriage. Maybe that was another foolish creation on her and Lucas’ part to think that they could keep this from their children, their babies who they both loved dearly and who loved them just as much— but they were not stupid nor blind, and enough was enough.

Whether or not Lucas was aware, Oriana knew this was coming, like the calm before a storm of some capacity. It had to happen, a discussion, an amends, a break. Anything, something. It was feeble for both of them to avoid it, her pack couldn’t survive with a withering Queen trapped in the perils of a breaking love story and she couldn’t handle the constant reminder of what broken trust felt like. Within the short time of ascending to the Crown she went from a happy mother filled with love and five beautiful children to a burdened, suffocating Queen, with a mate who lied to her, a lover who betrayed her, a brother who sacrificed himself for her, and a feeling of mistrust from many of those who she used to call close. Compared to the King, she was pathetic. He couldn't support the Queen on top of his own troubles, and Oriana refused to lean on anyone for help anymore. What kind of Sabora is she? One that needed change, even if it wasn’t her choice. Sometimes it never is, perhaps it was naive of her to think she ever had a choice in anything.

Oriana had been pacing, slowly, within the temple when movement from the entrance alerted her attention. The scent hit her nose before his voice, and her heart rattled in her chest, aching against the walls like a suffocating creature desperately reaching for air. Before long, it might just shrivel up; which begs the question, who put it in that suffocating box?

”My Queen.”

His choice of words were like a stab to her heart already. Not darling, not Ori, not even Oriana. But Queen— Like that is all she was to him now. The Sabora arrived in front of him shortly, with her head lingering a little higher than normal. If he summoned the Queen, that’s who he’d get. “Crane,” She’d murmur back, defeated, just as he presented himself. Oriana was being snuffed out faster than the Queen could handle.

”I've been unhappy f'a while. We both have. I reckon we gotta talk. 'Bout us. 'Bout our marriage, an... an what's best f'our family. What's best f'us.”

Taking a seat, eyes lingered around his familiar duo-toned ones, reading the emotion behind them. It was devoid, lacking, even hollow in it’s affections toward her. Perhaps not completely, but noticeably depleted. Was it her? Was it him? Was it someone else? She refrained from lifting her lip at the thought of who could be manipulating him behind those sweet, loving eyes as within moments her paranoia flooded her thoughts. Why is he doing this? Why is did anything change? Why did he lie? Why doesn’t he love you like he did? Why, Why, WHY, WHY, WHY—

Gritting her teeth, The Queen inwardly retreated to bite back at those demons all while keeping face, not hinting at the scarring, swirling hurt that she felt just seeing him again. Oh, she loved him so much. They were so in love once, they were so happy. Oriana could drive herself mad wondering where it all started, the hurt, the lies, the betrayal, the pain. Instead, she tried to meet him halfway, and maybe they could salvage something of their bond as two young kids who were once madly in love and happy with a family, to two adults who had responsibilities and children they needed to think about more than themselves.

But he came here first, he came to break (and hopefully repair) that silly, thin little red string that was fraying and straining. Would they stop tugging so harshly at it, or cut it completely?

Okay, let’s talk.” A voice, a little girl’s voice, far from demanding and far from powerful. The Queen was there, occupied with the demons that were unleashed on her after everything that had happened. But the little girl, the naive princess who only ever wanted love and happiness, would be who he’d speak to first.
__________________________________________

Say it like you mean it
In the end, we can’t make it
Even so, I keep hoping.


You go sleep with the fishes
There's no room for you here,
There's no room for you here
Wrap your teeth around the pavement
Cause your body's a message,
Send my regards to hell

Fall upon your knees,
Sing, "This is my body and soul here."
Crawl and beg, and plead,
Sing, "You've got the power and control."
Don't pin it all on me—

—DON'T PIN IT ALL ON ME


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Offline Lucas~

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Re: Esuna [PRP Oriana // Ring IV]
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2017, 09:24:06 AM »



Was it all his fault? Yes. It was an unbearable guilt that had threatened to drown him over and over. For days, weeks he had debated this, debated being the one to come forward. Be the brave one to attempt to fix their burning bridge. There was a hissing part of his mind that condemned her for this. Hiding away in the temple to make him come out to her. Would she have brought this up even if he hadn't? Perhaps. But her silence was deafening. Was so content to punish him forever? His lies had hurt her, he knew this. But it was never done out of spite. It was his duty to preserve life, no matter the cost, in a pack hell-bent on targeting the weak. What he had done was right, but he deeply regretted hurting his mate.

It was evident to Lucas how well she was coping when she appeared, his breath stopping in his throat as he looked. But didn't he look the same? Withered, haggard? Exhausted, depressed, anxious? He had been teetering in the shadows ever since, wallowing in the guilt that was drowning and suffocating him. Was Oriana the only one who suffered? No. She was Queen, she would always have the support of her King and her followers. Infallible in their eyes and hearts. Unbreakable and unmatched in Hircine's eyes. It felt like the Crane hadn't smiled in months, not truly.

Her apathy in regards to their son was... heartbreaking. Lucas was not a beast borne of power, nor was he ever meant to truly hold it. He would always put his family first, above the rules and the regulations. It was how he had learnt to survive when he was young, nestled in their close family knit. Snitching one of his family and pushing them away for the rules would have been a death sentence in Coven and Katti's rule. Lucas would have, and almost did, happily sacrificed himself for his siblings and his mother. His children were no different, Spider was no different.

“Crane,”

The southern hellion mirrored her feelings of misery, her look of exhaustion. Could they both go on like this, truly? How long could they both continue to suffer? Lucas had slept outside since their argument, alone and vulnerable to the elements huddled against Estein and Poppys gravesite. He rarely ventured away from the site since Spider and Rorschach's return, keeping as its guardian. Did Oriana even know they had buried her granddaughter? Had she visited, or cared?

His chest constricted as they locked eyes, but in his heart he knew this was the right thing to do. They would never heal unless this was addressed, if they avoided it forever. Did Lucas still love her? Of course he did. The hellion Crane had never stopped loving her, he felt and loved fiercely. His duel rimmed eyes were filled with regret, but there was no hate. There was no lacking of what he felt. He felt deeply in all matters of the heart, and heartbreak he experienced very acutely. He didn't regret their love, he didn't regret their family. He never once regretted taking her as his wife. But he did regret hurting her, and if Lucas truly loved her then he would set her free of this pain and suffering in whatever form he could.

“Okay, let’s talk.”

His bat ears twitched at her words, frown marring his face. Did she think he enjoyed this? That he wanted things to come to this? There was a part of him that flared in frustration at her lack of speech, the lack of engagement that she was the one forcing him to speak; baring the blunt of her blame and her anger (her wrath?). His tongue flickered against the roof of his mouth, bat ears bending backward, his tail resting on the floor.

”Ya know things ain't been the same since Spider an' Rorschach's sentence. I ain't... ever yelled like I did then. I ain't ever been as angry as I was then. We ain't been like we used to. I didn't expect anythin' to change when y'were made Sabora, an that's my fault. I thought you could still be Queen and still be a family, an part of me is t'blame for lyin' t'ya forPete. But I can't agree with the sentence y'gave our boys. I can't.” He'd croak, vision blurring as duel eyes swelling with unshed tears. ”I can't agree with takin' in orphans, illegal babies when you've just damned ya own barely a week before. I don't hate the Fledgelings. I jus' don't understand.” But they weren't really relevant, Lucas held no emotional investment in them besides their title.

I love you. I still love you, I ain't ever stopped lovin' you. I want to be there for our babies, I want to keep our family together. I jus... maybe it would be easier, on both of us, if we didn't do it as husband and wife.”


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Re: Esuna [PRP Oriana // Ring IV]
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2017, 11:15:54 AM »
As time passes by

We only mess it up even more

No way, no way, it’s collapsing again.

__________________________________________
ORIANA ✶  ,,
Emotions were a finicky thing; constantly swirling, evolving, changing, even being catalysts to other deep demons and problems if one let it. If there was one thing the young Sabora had never managed to completely master, it was that. Oh, never had she been a particularly good creature of royalty, but she tried. Her parents love was unique and devoid in many areas, leaving holes in places that needed substance. It was far from the raised life that Lucas had; Oriana never truly expected him to understand. Maybe deep down, she hoped, but she never pressed it on him. Only when her actions were thrown in her face did she react like a wolf backed into a corner, because who wouldn't? A subtly, unstable, emotionally troubled princess that only grew into a Queen that tried to combat these problems by storing them away into a box, manifesting into a bigger problem. It was no different then hiding within the Temple after their previous engagement; but how was it any different than Lucas? Both of them avidly avoided each other, both were at fault— but Oriana, in her selfish, subtly vindictive sense, did ultimately want Lucas to own up to where this was going. Although there had been many fights the Sabora had ended recently, she chose not to end this one.

The topic of Spider was still an aching spot for her. Oriana wasn't aware that her detachment was seen as apathy (perhaps she inherits that from her parents, little did she know) but rather she saw it was respectfully giving her son space. She knew he was angry, spiteful and fiery in everything he did; Oriana wouldn't step into that ring and invoke that dragon-like attitude unless it were necessary. Did that make her a bad mother? It was subjective. Was her not coddling her son during the wake of his law breaking make her a bad mother? Again, subjective. Oriana was raised with tough love (where there was any) and that was all she knew. Lucas, fortunate in his upbringing, was raised with an array of love and support, the understanding of the proper bond between a son and mother. The understanding of love over law, whereas his mate was raised on the opposite. Could Oriana truly be faulted for what she lacked? Perhaps so, as she could still see the discontent and the pain in the Crane's eyes over the situation. It was a tireless argument that only went in circles.

His haggard, drained expression was met with her own; he could see it, no doubt. Her face didn't react to his frown. A small bubble of guilt came to the surface as green eyes met blue and brown as she tried to read; seeing some basis of expectance in his eyes. He expected too much from her. He expected her to be good, to be loving, to be sacrificing like him— but Oriana was never that character. Lucas, in all of his sweet, heartwarming plethora of good had imposed a small piece of this upon his mate as a gift of their blooming love. He offered it, showing her how to use it, how to embrace it, how to feel it. Like a girl given a meaningful gift, she tried her best to keep it intact. She tried not to break it, to protect it, make sure she used it the best she could. It had cute, fancy little buttons and pretty designs, ones for him, ones for her, ones for their children, her family, for a lover (once); a found love in all things she'd never had before. It was beautiful, it was everything Oriana had ever imagined it would be. Just a fairy tale, a perfect family story, a happy ending.

She knew—Saboro never much liked happy endings.

Slowly, then all at once, it was broken. By her lover, by her brother, by her mate, by her son. The buttons were rusted, the wires frayed, the functionality of it destroyed. The aftermath was a mess of a Queen and the collateral damage extended to the reaches of those she never wanted to hurt. Now, between two wounded, aching and troubled lovers was the token of their bond, their marriage, crumbled into pieces at their feet. The little girl wanted to apologize for ruining what he gave, but the Queen would hiss and say she did nothing wrong. She did what she had to do, she only dished out what was originally served to her. The once-princess did not ask to be lied to, to be betrayed, to be heartbroken, TO BE SABORA. But not everyone got to choose their story, they only got to choose who was in it. And Lucas was going to propose they no longer be in each others. Oriana didn't fight, she didn't thrash, she didn't cry. In this moment, however, Lucas more brave than her for vocally preparing to admit it.

”Ya know things ain't been the same since Spider an' Rorschach's sentence. I ain't... ever yelled like I did then. I ain't ever been as angry as I was then. We ain't been like we used to. I didn't expect anythin' to change when y'were made Sabora, an that's my fault. I thought you could still be Queen and still be a family, an part of me is t'blame for lyin' t'ya forPete. But I can't agree with the sentence y'gave our boys. I can't.”

The card returned to the table, Oriana's gaze moved away from it. She listened, she considered, and ultimately she would decide not to poke on the topic of Spider directly. Her heart quietly rattled in her chest, the Queen still preoccupied with those demons and the little girl shaking in her knees. It was coming, she knew, she knew, she knew, but it didn't make it any easier. "Things didn't have to change. But how could we have known?" A frail admittance, but an honest one. Had she known Spider would've lost all his children, would she have done something differently? Of course, but how could she have known, how could anyone have known? Had she known that consuming, constricting, manipulative crown would've shrivelled away the life she fought so hard to build with Lucas the minute it was place upon her cranium— would she have done something differently? Yes, of course. The hurt in Lucas's eyes was contagious, aching, damaging to whatever exposed piece of her own peeked through.

”I can't agree with takin' in orphans, illegal babies when you've just damned ya own barely a week before. I don't hate the Fledgelings. I jus' don't understand.”

A hiss escaped her lips as he threw the word illegal in her face. The demon fought back, scraping, scratching and clawing at her composure. "Orphans are not illegal." Her tone gained it's fire, it's authority if only for a flash of a second. "Had they been our own adopted children, of Saboran blood, would you think differently of them?" The fire fizzled out, quickly, as she almost didn't even want to hear the answer. The demon retreated. She knew, even in his pure hearted nature there was always the dark speck of something in every being. He was angry, he was hurt, he was misplacing blame and Oriana didn't want to argue about it. They were both tired; two hearts from different places that had a blip of love, a love that was quickly withering if they didn't stop the poison between them.

”I love you. I still love you, I ain't ever stopped lovin' you. I want to be there for our babies, I want to keep our family together. I jus... maybe it would be easier, on both of us, if we didn't do it as husband and wife.”

Inhaling his words like smoke, they burned. Her lungs, her throat, her heart wheezed silently as the pain constricted their functionality for what felt like an eternity. She knew, she knew, SHE KNEW and it still hurt. It would never not hurt. A broken love, even in attempts to be picked up, would still cause cuts from the shattered pieces. It wasn't worth them repairing what was broken, but maintaining what was left. "I know." A first statement, eyes avoiding him now. It was coming, his arrival was the stormy cloud and his words were the down pouring rain. "I can't forgive you for lying to me, for choosing Nero's son over our trust, for choosing anything over trusting me." She'd pause. "But, Fear is more powerful than love." I get it. It's something she was raised on, perhaps that's why her parents chose that path of leadership; they could command more loyalty in the wake of fear rather than love. He and Nero betrayed her with fear, the fear that they'd lose something Oriana had the power to take, and imposing a cruel, heartless action upon someone they both claimed to love. "But it doesn't mean it's no longer there. You're still in my heart, even if it hurts." 'Because, I love you, still—' lingered on her tongue as she found the words sharp in her mouth. Her eyes spoke it instead, if he was looking. Just like she always had been.

"I never wanted this to happen." He knew that, didn't he? "If I had known I was destined for being Sabora, things would have been different." Reiterating as her naivety was speaking again, the 'what ifs' and the 'if only' and the 'if I could' all of the past speaking in the place of the present where it had no place. No, only present had it's place with future doting their choices. Perhaps moving forward, this was where they needed to go.

She knew, she knew, she always knew. There was no happy endings, no fairy tale, no perfect family. Lucas led her to a place where she could embrace that fantasy for a while, but ultimately she needed to come off of cloud nine, both of them did, and they needed to return to reality.

"This... is for the better." An agreement, a spoken consent to their divorce. It was better for her, for him, for their children, for all of Saboro to have a Queen will full reign, without the string of her past life, without the weight of her guilt. Those fiery, pheonix wings that her mother gifted her needed to grow, to stretch across as the true Sabora. Her reign only really started now.

__________________________________________

A house made of cards, and us inside
Even if you say you see the end, even if you say it’ll collapse soon
A house made of cards, and stupidly, us
Even if you say it’s a useless dream, just stay a little more like this.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2017, 11:21:22 AM by arkyls™ [slow] »


You go sleep with the fishes
There's no room for you here,
There's no room for you here
Wrap your teeth around the pavement
Cause your body's a message,
Send my regards to hell

Fall upon your knees,
Sing, "This is my body and soul here."
Crawl and beg, and plead,
Sing, "You've got the power and control."
Don't pin it all on me—

—DON'T PIN IT ALL ON ME


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