Author Topic: They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]  (Read 446 times)

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Offline Crow

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They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]
« on: March 19, 2017, 11:59:28 PM »
Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.



CHARON:

There was no real justification for his continued existence - "existence" was indeed the best word for it, not life, for he had simply been existing. It had all been too much, the trials, sentencing people to death for crimes he didn't even believe in, watching them die in tar pits because... why? It helped him feel alive? Nothing could do that for him anymore without causing someone else to suffer in the process. Was he really so selfish that he would continue to hurt people to avoid apathy? Wielding power had not brought him happiness, only a false sense of purpose, and although it had been satisfying, it had not been right. He was like a drug addict, ruining the lives of himself and others to prevent his own boredom; staying high on hatred to avoid having to think about his life.

And so he'd quit - cold turkey. He'd left, not the territory itself, because he still wasn't brave enough to try to escape when there were always guards waiting for an excuse to tear a heathen apart, but society. He wandered the desert constantly, never staying in one spot for more than a day and always moving on when he caught the scent of someone else drawing close. He wasn't sure who he was running from - himself or everyone else - or what his goal was. He didn't have a plan for a reintroduction into the pack; it was simply something he assumed would happen on its own one day, when he grew tired of fleeing. Either that, or he'd eventually be caught and killed by someone on a power trip. He knew that there was no way he'd maintained his rank of Judge, not in his long absence, but he could not be sure exactly where he stood now in the hierarchy. Charon assumed that he was something lowly, though, something that reflected exactly how he felt about himself on the inside. Perhaps he was a slave now, soon to be claimed by some religious zealot who would command him to clean the dirt from between her toes. That was probably where he belonged.

He sat by the lake now, glancing at his scarred reflection only once before turning away and looking out into the desert. He felt no guilt for abandoning his duty, forsaking the religion he'd never subscribed to - he only felt dissatisfaction with himself. If only he'd had the guts to do something meaningful, rather than shirk his responsibilities (if you could call being a Judge in an insane pack a 'responsibility') and run off like a teenager afraid of commitment. He could've been a productive member of society, held a high rank, raised a family. But he hated this place, but not enough to risk injury leaving - and what would he do if he made it out? He had no notion of the outside world, having never left the desert of zealots. Maybe it wasn't any different out there - maybe they just referred to their gods by different names.

Charon was tired now, tired of running, of being left alone with his thoughts. He was too tired (and afraid) to seek out company, and so he did the only thing he could do. He stayed put - he remained by the lake, for days if it took that long. He did not run - even if he heard someone coming.
Is he willing to stop me, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then why am I still alive?
Is he neither able nor willing?
T H E N  W H Y  C A L L  H I M  G O D ?

Played by Kotake


Quote
[2:16:49 PM] Corg: more like ouCROWku-kai
Crow aka the worst character ever made

Offline Crow

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Re: They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2017, 12:00:12 AM »
CROW:

If Charon was an addict, then surely Crow was the junkie dealer, vibrating like a mild seizure, who'd gotten him hooked on his drug of choice, that sweet sadism that fed the pangs of his disaffection and disillusionment and all other sorts of sophomoric miseries. They'd grown up together in a way, cruel son and crueler father who'd been little more than a teenager himself when his very first litter had been conceived... still so entertained by private executions... still so very untested and leashed by those better than him... still taking himself and this valley all too seriously. Now he stood in his prime, a veteran warrior, a fixture of this mad place, grandsiring gods like the devil forges demons out of brimstone and flame.

He didn't think he'd go ignored, did he? Not by the one who'd MADE the brooding little effer in the first place? Silly, wishful thinking. They'd stay intertwined until the day one of them rattled their final breath. Until they both inevitably died here on these shifting sands. Or in the tar they both wore the inky black and the ceaseless hunger from. Maybe whatever scientist thousands of years from now fished them both out would marvel at how even the skeletal hulls of either wolf so resembled the other's.

"Little pig, little pig..." cooed the black beast nice and smooth to the hunching spine of its offspring. Let me come in, not that you have a choice! Should Charon continue to stare into the lake, a mirror image would materialize over his shoulder like some horrid tumor, and the smile on his sharp muzzle was all too cloying to be sincere.

"I couldn't find you," was his confession, guiltless and not particularly concerned. The old, hairless, grayish burn scars on his back stretched and bunched with each movement, here and there, as Crow sized his dear sweet son up for the first time in... well, who knew? He sure didn't. The ability to keep track of time, or at least not lose it in erratic chunks, had become a little touch-and-go for him. "Isn't that funny? I'm the one who taught you to disappear."

He laughed, and in another father's voice, the praise would never have bitten so deeply.
Is he willing to stop me, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then why am I still alive?
Is he neither able nor willing?
T H E N  W H Y  C A L L  H I M  G O D ?

Played by Kotake


Quote
[2:16:49 PM] Corg: more like ouCROWku-kai
Crow aka the worst character ever made

Offline Crow

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Re: They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2017, 12:01:52 AM »
CHARON:

He'd been expecting his father to appear, just like he always did - his presence seemed to constantly be circling overhead, like a vulture just waiting for him to die so he could pick his little remaining flesh from his bones. He could hear approaching footsteps now, and suddenly he felt unprepared; he was not ready to face his father, not after all this time, and what had taken place the last time they'd been together. Not after what he'd learned about himself. He felt frozen, trapped, unable (no, unwilling) to run...

"Little pig, little pig..."

And there it was. The vulture descended, and Charon felt an icy hand clutch at his heart, sending a chill through his whole body. He couldn't panic, not now, not in front of his father. Besides, there were other emotions that always replaced panic in Charon - anger, hatred, unhealthy things that just felt so much better. Crow came closer, and Charon inspected his father as his father inspected him - he wondered where those burns had come from.

"You look like crap," he said, once again resorting to snark over confronting his real feelings, which was probably the best course of action with Crow. He wasn't sure there could ever really be a "best" outcome when Crow was involved.

"I couldn't find you... Isn't that funny? I'm the one who taught you to disappear."

He hadn't wanted to be found until now, and of course dear old dad had been one of the first to find him. "Did you miss me?" he asked, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "I'm surprised you're still alive, what with all your... antics." 'Antics' were a good way to describe Crow's endeavors.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2017, 11:42:25 PM by Crow »
Is he willing to stop me, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then why am I still alive?
Is he neither able nor willing?
T H E N  W H Y  C A L L  H I M  G O D ?

Played by Kotake


Quote
[2:16:49 PM] Corg: more like ouCROWku-kai
Crow aka the worst character ever made

Offline Crow

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Re: They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2017, 06:45:40 PM »
A miasma of hungry breath, the loving coo of an incorrigible madman, a mirrored image eyeing his very favorite son, who could peer into it now and see his foulest heart fully realized. The eyes, bright and rapacious, with none of Charon's eternal fear and all of the pandemonium he kept walled in, hugging it tight to his chest. The ears, long, tapering, missing no wounded howl, no specter of a threat. The mane, disarrayed. The teeth, knifelike. Small wonder he'd never liked to look at Crow. Small wonder he could never seem to help himself from doing so.

He followed that twin gaze to the scars on his spine, patchy and thickened and gray with age, speckled at the edges like mange. A smile pulled at one side of his mouth. Soak it in, boy. Your father too can burn. They were not like the ruined eye in his skull that had sent him berserk with fury and revenge, that he'd disembowel another wolf for daring to mock it. They were worn with pride, and perhaps, some secret knowing.

"Rude," hissed Crow, the grin widening and betraying any pretense of real offense. He was not like his hallowed granddaughter. When he smiled, it was always with teeth. "I never could break you of that smart little mouth."

Spoken fondly, despite its ugly undertones. Crow stepped closer to the river, passing Charon in a little semicircle around his back half... and lying down upon his belly, front paws just touching the running water, head lifted almost catlike to regard the horizon as they reunited.

"Oh, Charon. Are we in need of a yes today? Well. I'm feeling nice." He baited, needled, exposing what looked like the barest hint of insecurity before he deigned to answer. And was it with sincerity? It was impossible to tell. Crow had never operated reliably by the polarities of love and hate. "You're one of my very favorite people, you know. And I do sometimes miss my favorite people if they stop visiting."

Somewhere deep in the forest maze, there was a den with a Zashi-shaped absence in its center.

"My... antics? I keep the valley on its toes, if that's what you mean. They wouldn't know what to do without me."

Angled shoulders rolled in an irreverent shrug.

"You must have been somewhere interesting all this time. Care to share?"
« Last Edit: April 09, 2017, 06:47:47 PM by Crow »
Is he willing to stop me, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then why am I still alive?
Is he neither able nor willing?
T H E N  W H Y  C A L L  H I M  G O D ?

Played by Kotake


Quote
[2:16:49 PM] Corg: more like ouCROWku-kai
Crow aka the worst character ever made

Offline Charon

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Re: They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2017, 08:20:53 PM »
Crow hadn't attacked him yet, hadn't tried to tear off an ear or drown him in the nearby lake, so he supposed this meeting was already going better than some of their previous ones. Still, there wasn't really a 'good' meeting with Crow, was there? Even the most benign of conversations with the monster left one feeling unclean and wondering what sort of repercussions had yet to come. The residue of all his earliest, most formative interactions with Crow still clung to him even now, like so much grease and tar that he could never quite rid himself of no matter how many times he washed his hands. Every new person he met was regarded with suspicion, every social interaction had undertones of fear - that was the mark Crow had truly left on him. It went deeper than the scars on his snout, and it was so ingrained that he didn't even realize it was abnormal.

"Rude. I never could break you of that smart little mouth."

Charon smiled in return, baring his teeth in an expression that was unintentionally similar to Crow's, except it was less threatening and more dead. Empty. Charon was less Crow's twin than his shadow, an unremarkable and noticeably flat copy that would never have the same impact as the real thing. Not that he truly wanted to carry on his father's legacy (or did he?) "That smart little mouth is what makes me so charming," he said through teeth gritted or grinning (even he wasn't sure which), choosing not to respond to the more inflammatory half of his father's remark.

Crow settled down on the ground next to him and Charon turned around slowly to face him. He knew his father too well by this point to be surprised by the casual demeanor - he also knew better than to take that as permission to relax. Crow could switch from something passable for a parent to a demon in the blink of an eye, and Charon was not going to be caught off guard. Not this time. Still, he would indulge this meeting to some extent - he sat down, tension given away by clawed toes digging into the dirt.

"Oh, Charon. Are we in need of a yes today? Well. I'm feeling nice."

Mockery again, as always. Where had his smart little mouth come from? "It must be my lucky day," he said with no emotion whatsoever. Fortunately, he didn't need to say much more, as Crow continued his thought.

"You're one of my very favorite people, you know. And I do sometimes miss my favorite people if they stop visiting."

This was another of Crow's cryptic little statements that he resented so much. One of his favorites? Charon had always known of Crow's...special interest in him, but hearing it said out loud was somehow jarring. What did it mean to be one of Crow's favorites? He imagined it had to be a bad thing, but could it be worse than being the favorite of anyone else in this valley? He loathed this place. The thought stuck him suddenly with such strength that he actually clenched his teeth - it would seem his long vacation hadn't been enough to quell the burning hatred for Oukoku-Kai within him. His sudden emotion was a blessing in disguise, as it distracted him from making another rude comment at his father (this time).

"My... antics? I keep the valley on its toes, if that's what you mean. They wouldn't know what to do without me."

"I suppose you're right," he said after a few moments of thought. "How would they know who to throw into the tar?" He looked down at his father, brow raising slightly. "And think of the impact on the population without your genes..." Years ago, they'd 'talked' about Crow's ever-growing family tree. It hadn't ended well. Now, there were even more children, and some of them were gods. "This place would fall apart without you." But it wouldn't even take notice of my absence. He wasn't sure if he was bitter or relieved.

"You must have been somewhere interesting all this time. Care to share?"

He'd known this question was coming, but he still hadn't prepared an answer. He doubted there was any answer that Crow would truly accept anyway. "I've been taking a little break," he said, and this time the smile that appeared on his face was real (although it was derision and not happiness that colored it), "The Gods haven't needed me much lately." Had they ever?

I could go off the deep end
I could kill all my best friends
I could follow those stylish trends
But God knows I could make amends
But I’ve got an angry heart
Filled with cancers and poppy tarts
If this is how you folks make art, it’s effing depressing

Offline Crow

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Re: They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2017, 03:07:17 PM »
Father had polluted son, stained him with the bile of his bone-deep rage, and perhaps it was an heirloom handed down to the next in line. Crow, monstrous Crow, the product of terror and rejection, the natural fallout of taking a disturbed little boy gnarled with isolation and telling him he was special, that he has power over life and death, that there is nothing and nobody his maddening, voracious, fathomless new appetites cannot consume, like the tar swallows a screaming heathen. Charon knew nothing else. Crow /wanted/ nothing else.

Get out, lost boy, WHILE YOU STILL CAN. There's more to this life than violence and horror and fear of the only one who's ever understood you. Who's ever loved you. And run fast, that you might forget you ever called this love in the first place.

"Clever boy," quipped he, his grin fading into a closed-mouth and mirthless smile. It could have been a joke. It could have been him twisting the needle. Maybe a little of both. "Clever and charming and lucky."

The tension in Charon's mien didn't go unnoticed. Nor the silence after his little admission, where normally one of his patented barbs would have gone. He saw everything and missed nothing but the thoughts in his sweet precious boy's head. How would they know who to throw in the tar, he'd deadpanned, and Crow chuckled fondly, an unpleasantly dry sound.

"Now that brings back memories, doesn't it?" Of bonding, you see. Of his son's awakening. Of poor possessed Korangar, not that his executioner remembered his name anymore. "Mmm... but you've probably lost your taste for that after all this time."

He regarded Charon sidelong, the pupil in the eye closest to him sliding over feverishly. The implication was obvious. When you've killed gods, it's terribly /boring/ to go back to their followers, suggested that look. But for you, I'd do it. Just because. I missed you. SO MUCH.

"A little break," echoed Crow, sounding skeptical. Come on, you little crap, cough me up some details. "Did you leave the valley?"
« Last Edit: April 12, 2017, 03:31:57 PM by Crow »
Is he willing to stop me, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then why am I still alive?
Is he neither able nor willing?
T H E N  W H Y  C A L L  H I M  G O D ?

Played by Kotake


Quote
[2:16:49 PM] Corg: more like ouCROWku-kai
Crow aka the worst character ever made

Offline Charon

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Re: They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2017, 11:50:44 PM »
"Clever and charming and lucky."

Charon wasn't sure he would call himself any of these things. Clever? He'd had to be clever, or he'd have been torn to pieces by the bigger beasts (or his father) long ago. Charming? Maybe he could have been, with a proper upbringing and a society that valued tact over bloodshed. Lucky. That was the one that stung the most. He supposed with his current circumstances he was lucky to be alive, but he wasn't sure the concept of luck even fit in his life. Maybe he was lucky in comparison to his siblings - they were all dead or gone now, replaced within the blink of an eye by younger, more godly children. (Am I even alive?) His father had been the first conversation he'd had in weeks, and all that implied about mental health.

"Now that brings back memories, doesn't it?"

"The best," he said, rolling his eyes before he could stop himself. He couldn't help it, truly, no matter how much his conscience screamed at him to stop. Stop poking the sleeping dragon...but his instinct for self preservation had never been strong enough. All attention was good attention from the absent father, even if instead of hugs and kisses it was bites and death threats. He sighed, turning almost apologetically toward his father, the picture of a child who's been caught sassing and knows they are to be scolded. If only a simple reprimand was what he expected.

"Mmm... but you've probably lost your taste for that after all this time."

Had he lost his taste for it? It. He didn't know what to call his darkest desires. Pain, suffering, death - that all sounded so pedestrian, so cliched. But he had never felt more alive than when he'd watched the light leave Korangar's eyes, and even the burning shame the memory brought on was not enough to quell the excitement. The worst feeling was the resignation; he knew he would not be able to lie to his father about this, even if he'd wanted to. Still, he couldn't admit it, could not say the words. "I don't think I could get away with it anymore..." he mused, choosing to reference his rank instead of his deeper thoughts. "I am no one now. I don't think the gods would give me their blessing." He paused for a moment, smiling wryly at his own joke. "Even if I was killing heathens."

"Did you leave the valley?"

He was quiet for a few seconds after this question. Somehow this was an even more forbidden thought than killing for sport. Leave the valley? The question repeated in his head, echoing like the dramatic realization of someone who's realized they've been lied to all along. "No..." he said, and the wistfulness was so obvious, and he was so innocent in that moment, a child wishing for a far off adventure. "I've never left. I just stayed away from everyone because I couldn't stand to be around them." He wasn't sure why he was suddenly spilling his guts out to his father (he was sure Crow would as soon do that to him literally as comfort him), but he had yet another uncomfortable truth to face: he had no one else. "I'll die in this effing desert."

I could go off the deep end
I could kill all my best friends
I could follow those stylish trends
But God knows I could make amends
But I’ve got an angry heart
Filled with cancers and poppy tarts
If this is how you folks make art, it’s effing depressing

Offline Crow

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Re: They eff you up, your mom and dad [Charon]
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2017, 12:01:44 AM »
An eyeroll! Oh, he'd actually rolled those sunken-in eyes, as though their past atrocities were something lame old dad had ushered him into against his will, something that he looked back upon with chagrined disdain. Don't you remember how you seethed, boy, at long last realized? Don't you remember your own smile? I do. I remember how you started small at first, taking an ear from the sacrificial white pig, pulling pulling stretching threading snapping sinew, and it whispered psalms to us and handed us our killing knives and together together TOGETHER we cut him into quivering meat, the canvas upon which we vented our madness, the stage across which we danced our old folie a deux.

Unmake him, Charon! Dismantle him at the hinges of all the parts that make him up, that it might be as though he never existed at all! Bleed him! BLEED HIM! The Rosa made everything even themselves especially themselves for us to play with and we will enjoy this little piggy's life far more sO MUCH MORE THAN IT EVER COULD.

I tried to unmake myself once. I wanted to look at all my parts. If there's love among them, it's for you. I split my skull and pulled you from it and grew you into

me.

And here we are today.

"Aha... hahahaha. Charon. You've always been so coy. You've always made me laugh."

It was true, though less than it should have been. The vicious staccato noises in his throat... it could hardly be called a laugh. Like a defective eye that could not see color, like a plush toy of a cat made by someone who has never seen a cat, it lacked any mirth and joy that defined the emotional response in the first place. But it wasn't a bite. That mattered the most.

Crow was quiet for a long moment. The pinprick pupil in his good eye roved downward to watch his own reflection. He looked upon it for an empty while that stretched out long as the space between stars. Good Father licked his flinty muzzle with a pale tongue.

"It's gotten boring, hasn't it?"

It. This place. Their permissions. The private executions. He didn't elaborate. They were older, and it really was pedestrian, their gruesome fancies. How much shock and awe and reanimation could they keep squeezing out of wanton violence against their own?

"They marked a grave for me in the maze."

A strange, cryptic smile snaked over his face. An ear flicked spasmodically.

"Don't be so sure."
« Last Edit: June 06, 2017, 12:04:55 AM by Crow »
Is he willing to stop me, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then why am I still alive?
Is he neither able nor willing?
T H E N  W H Y  C A L L  H I M  G O D ?

Played by Kotake


Quote
[2:16:49 PM] Corg: more like ouCROWku-kai
Crow aka the worst character ever made